The Cost of the Cross

Been reading, "The Cost of Discipleship" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. If anyone ever thought the being a Christian was for our sake, somebody was lying to them. Following Christ is a Glory issue for God. It's His desire to use us to reveal to the world, His continued bearing up of their sufferings. He does this though in the same way that he began doing it at the cross through the sufferings of His son.

Being a Christian is about suffering, yes even unto death. If anyone says anything different, they're looking for excuses, for their life which they know is far from God. Jesus never said any different. We just like reading His words and then determining, through abstract theological concepts, what Jesus really meant with His words for us today. Well He really meant then what it means now. Take up your cross and die to yourself, even if that means death in this earthly life (Mark 8). Only by being called-out to this Grace and accepting it, do we have any hope of overcoming suffering. Just as Jesus' way to overcome His suffering was to head to the cross.

Thank you Dietrich Bonhoeffer for being a man who was dead to himself and being made alive to Christ. God be praised!

Understanding Grace

I'm sure someone will post a comment to this post with an undertone of "huh, how could you not understand Grace?". Nevertheless, I don't.

The longer God grants me grace to live, the less I understand the grace, I have to this point received. It would seem that the weight of Grace and the potential for guilt and shame, as a result of the realization of Grace waisted, would increase congruent to the amount of time spent on earth. I find it easier to fall to my knees and beat my chest for my own arrogance, regarding the quantity of time waisted, not resting in God's Grace. The time I have spent forcefully and painfully directing my own life path.

In some ways this thought is extremely liberating. I'm learning to understand Grace for what it is. Incomprehensible. On the other hand, I am debilitated by the compounded realization that I am incapable of embracing the incomprehensible. I am then ashamed. Somewhere, I lost my child-like ability to accept the unseen, the unknowable. I'm not quite sure when it happened. Jeremiah, the prophet, gets a message from God for Israel. He's supposed to extol them for falling away from God. He tells them something to the effect: The road out is the road back.

If we are to understand Grace, it is absolutely necessary, to lay aside all our ideas about the conceivable. And yet, I can conceive it! I do. My son, my son. It's you! I have known this all along, but even still the thought rings like being kicked in the ear. Last week I met Grace, today I have met her still. To understand her is another thing, but my son I wish no ill will.

Landed

I made it to the place I'm going to be calling my home in cyberspace. I hope you all have been keeping up with me. If not... no matter. Here we are now.

MacGarden

Another day at MacGarden. It's a Wednesday here, which is for me at MacGarden, something like a Friday. Wednesday is my last day in the week of working here. Thursday through Saturday and sometimes Sunday alittle, I work at the church.

There was a lot to do today. For a computer company that prides itself on computers that don't break down, I sure do repair alot of them. ;-)

Working on getting ready for a wedding coming up in May. Going to be leading the program there with my brother (in-law) Edgar! Looking forward to it. Part of the Band I play in at church is going to do the music there as well. It'll be a good time. It's going to be the wedding of our cousin Alfred.

There you go... pure information. No philosophical theological ideas. Just info.

Watching

Looking at my little boy and watching him grow up, I become aware of all the things I've already learned in my life. Then I realize how many things I will spend, day in and day out, telling him over and over again. Reminding him of how to live, how to behave.

And then one day, he'll look at me and say: "I know already!". And I'll know he does indeed know. And yet I'll know that he doesn't really "know".

And then I'll probably look at my own life and realize that I don't really "know" either.

He's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I wish I could quit working and just spend my time living and experiencing life with him and my wife. Sometime I convince myself, I would be content to just have some land to work and my family around me. I know though that I would then crave for an opportunity to share the life of my family with others.

There's a balance and I haven't found it yet. Looking in to my little boys eyes, I'm not so sure if I will seriously be looking to find a balance.