On our way to Achenkirch Austria

This week we're going to beautiful Achenkirch, in Austria. It's part of a family retreat with our church. We're looking forward to getting out together. Although it wont be "real" vacation, we will have much more time together than normal. I only have minimal obligations at the retreat, so our days are going to be filled with trips into the mountains; visiting the little village "downtown" area; maybe going to the swimming pool and mostly just relaxing together as a family with other families.

Yesterday, I was at our denominations Regional Youth Conference. I was asked to preach there. From a purely rhetorical standpoint: it was a flop. I none the less hope that Christ was able to use me to really motivate some people to think about their Christianity. Other than through His divine intervention though, there wont be any good fruit coming from my being there. I pretty much made every speaking mistake possible. I tend to do that every now and then, and it's always a good experience for me to lean on the Lord and trust Him to make the foolish words of a foolish man into something so godly and divine that hearts would be transformed to action. Please pray for yesterdays conference. The youth who were there really need motivation from God's Spirit to live a life given-up to Him.

I'm tired. Kristine is already in bed and I don't know why I'm sitting out here writing so late.

April Showers...

...bring May showers and what do Mayshowers bring? At best... washed out Pilgrims.

It's incredible how much it's been raining in May over here. In April it was just cool. But, as far as I can remember, it didn't really rain in April. Now it's hot and thundering showering. But that's the way it's been for a least the last week. The weeks before, it wasn't necessarily that hot, but it sure did rain alot.

So my question is... what's going to happen to all the Pilgrims? I mean, without their Mayflowers they're kind of washed-up right?

(Let it be known that there is hope for the Pilgrims. Although May has brought an abundance of rain, the flowers have fought mightily to maintain their resplendence).

Not much time

We've been running around like crazy the last week. Funny how there's always something to do. It's actually not very funny. It's sick and nuts. I long for the days to return, when the setting sun told everyone to go inside and take a break. When people lived so far away from each other that it was impossible to get everybody together at the church more than one evening a week.

It's ironic that I am the family Pastor at our church and experience weeks, where I only see my family on Saturday or maybe only a Sunday afternoon. It's not right. But first, I need to learn how to act differently. I already "know" that healthy family life cannot continue long under such pressures. But "living" a different kind of life, consistently is hard. I need a mind and a heart change.

This is my struggle currently...

God is good all the time...

This weekend was filled with wonderful experiences. Friday evening began at our church a 24/1 prayer day. We hope to have a 24/7 sometime soon, where the church will be filled with prayer for 24 hours a day for the entire week. The 24/1 went over really well. Had a great start with a group of about 10 to 12 people to kick it off. Really beautiful. Different age groups. Fantastic.

Saturday, was a relatively relaxing day. We cleaned and then Jamie and I got to hang out together, while Kristine went and took care of a bunch of stuff that mommies don't ordinarily get to do, because they never have the time. Both Jamie and I and Kristine really enjoyed it.

Saturday evening we got to go to a Music School reunion of Kristine's parents. It was a joy to see them among their old colleagues and get to know a little more about their life as it was in Uzbekistan. I felt like I got to know them a little better.

Sunday, we went to a church service at one of our churches here about an hour away to translate some American guests from a ministry called LIVE (http://www.liveministriesonline.org/) check out the website. It was a great time with them. Very encouraging.

Sunday night, I went alone to Maulbronn (http://www.maulbronn.de/relaunch/e_800/html/maulbronn.php) check out this website if you want. I was invited to preach there to a group of people looking for more depth in their spirituality than what the state church (Lutheran Church or Catholic Church) is offering them. I cannot describe the blessing, which the Holy Spirit gave to me there. I thank God for his ever new confirmation of grace on my life. May I learn to understand and live from it more.

Concentrating in the last weeks on today. I want to be more open to hearing God today. Often, I get carried away and think about the kind of life I would like to one day be known for. I forget that I will never have that life, if I do not concentrate on today. I just want bigger ears, and a more patient heart for God's poured out word in my soul today. That His poured out word would necessarily produce action in my life. But an action, which I could never organize think up, or plan, rather an action, which springs forth from the spring of His labors in me.

Unexplainable

I look at my little boy and I can't explain how unexplainable the love for him is. He likes to sort out our collection of Data CDs that we really don't need anymore. Lots of Printer Drivers and old Operating Systems from Windope.

Right now he's sitting on his "throne" eating an apple. All by himself. Slowly he's starting to feel less and less like he belongs to us. More and more as though he is his own little person. Doing what he wants to do. Going to the places where he wants to go. The good thing though about this stage in his life right now is, he always gets to the point of needing to come over to one of us for assurance. He wants us to be involved in what he's doing. I know that even that will change. But for now it is my greatest joy to be his dad. Being there for him when he needs me. Idealistically, I always want to be able to be there for him. Realistically, I know that I will let him down often. God be gracious and merciful to me.

He's amazing! Whenever he gets a piece of apple skin or the piece of apple he bites off is too big, he just spits it out and keeps right on going. He just came that way. We didn't even have to install that feature. ;-) I really enjoy spending time with him.

I'm realizing more and more what my role is in God's Kingdom work. At least for now. Starting to hear, to what type of ministry God has been calling me. It doesn't really change my job at all. Just gives me confirmation in the work that my spirit already knows it should be doing. I've been listening to people too much. Been listening to my own heart too much. God did not not make himself into man, (something totally illogical and fantastic) in order to give us a logical, well ordered, definable Christianity. No, he called us to give up our lives, if we are to find them. Something, which really makes no sense at all. That's why it's impossible for someone who is truly being led by the Spirit of the Holy God, to be taken off the course of the Holy God. In fact I would even go so far as to say: if you can be taken off the course you think you're on for God, then it wasn't God's course to begin with.

He guides and directs. Even when the path becomes illogical and too painful to bear or understand.

Hillarious Apple Video

I think this video is really worth watching. Had to laugh really hard. Inside.

Feeding my head

This Sunday evening I'm going to be preaching at an inner church movement called 10till6. Which is a play on the phrase 10 minutes till 6pm. The church is about 25min. away from where we live in a village called Maulbronn. Mom went there with us, while she was here last year. Not to the church but to the village. I'm looking foward to it. And while I'm reading so much Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Oscar Romero, the sermon has to be on the Cost of Discipleship. What it really means to say yes to Christ.

"Yes" to Christ is a necessary "no" to everything else. Anything that would threaten my devotion to the call, of the God became flesh, must be lost. It cannot be that I would first think about, whether I want to lose everything or not. It just hast to happen as a necessary response to the call. If it doesn't, then there is not a positive response to the call of Christ, which means there is not a transformed heart. Whithout these things there is no true Christianity. Check out the gospels in the bible for more info. Jesus never negotiated salvation with anyone.

It really makes one think... Good thoughts to ponder. Good thoughts to turn into action.

Pics of Rome

By the way...

If you want to look at all the pics of my time at Rome... Here's the link. Just click on the Titel up above "Pics of Rome"

You'll be taken to the page where you can then click on the "Rome" Folder.

Sweet Home Pforzheim

Well I made it back home.
Safe and sound after a rousing week in Rome. I really think we did more walking that really looking. Anyway, it was a fabulous time.

I was challenged during the Pastor‘s conference to really think about my convictions. I would like to challenge you in turn to think about why you believe what you believe or do you even believe? If your faith is something that can be destroyed than it is most likely faith that never got put into action.

True Faith requires true Obedience, which has been poured out in action, although the doer of the action is totally aware of their own inadequacy to carry the consequences of that action. The result is a faith producing obedience. Without this „stepping-out“ in obedience, to do the impossible, can faith never really become faith. She will ever be illusive and all to pompous a stoic effort to conform to a law, which is impossible to fulfill.

Think about it. It‘s about life and death.



Coming home was a grand adventure. I‘m sitting here now at the breakfast table on Monday morning. Our little boy is taking his morning nap and I‘m just happier than ever to be able to be close by him again. Seeing Kristine again made me see anew, the graceful splendid way about her. Not as an end in itself, but as a splendor being lived out in the way she raises our son and her love for me.

It was a good thing to be gone for awhile. I was able to come home and really see some things for the first time. Yesterday, was a beautiful Mothers-day. We didn‘t do anything „special“. It was special enough just to be together.

Please don‘t misunderstand. It‘s not romance that makes me say these things about my Kristine. It‘s blood, sweat, yelling, hitting and getting ugly and older together that makes me say these things. There is something beyond words about being with my wife for almost seven years that fills me and freely forces me to give praise to God for her.

We stuck in the video of our wedding last night to find a certain song. I watched her walk in and her father give her to me. We were young and romantically in love. As I watched I looked at her sitting, with her elbows on her knees on our couch. Her hair flowing down her back like waves on the ocean. In the same moment I smiled at her on the video, I gave her a smile this side of the computer screen. But the smile was different. The smile in the video, was one of false expectations and a misunderstanding of romance. The smile now, as I watched her smile in return, was simply because I knew what it took to get where we are and being prepared to continue traveling this road together. Seeing crows feet beginning to crawl out of our eyes, the crows feet that we made together, love and romance receive new, real definitions.



It‘s funny, I write these things and I have to think about my idea of love earlier. It wasn‘t much different than it is now. The only difference is: The reason for my feelings are deep, hard-wrought experiences with my Kristine. I could say, and did say similar things about her seven years ago. They just didn‘t carry the meaning they do now. I would even go as far to say that the words I spoke then, were almost empty. Like a young youth saying: Life is meaningless. Work is meaningless. Only love counts. Ergo: I‘m not going to work, I will only love. This statement is true, but is void of context. An older man looking back on his life and saying: Life is meaningless, work is meaningless, I will only love, is a résumé of a life deeply lived. He neither disdains work, nor despises life. He has simply chosen to cling to love the more deeply. Had he chosen to disdain work or despise life, much as the youth would in saying the same thing, he never would have truly learned what it means to love.



I could not learn to love until I had loved.



Thank you Kristine for loving with me. I will be with you ever steadfast.

If Birds Could Speak

Over the last couple days, I have seriously been asking myself the question: „What if birds could speak.“

Walking around Rome you can‘t help but take notice of the many birds. They fly around living life for no other reason than that it‘s been given to them. It glorifies the creator that they live because He‘s given them life to live. For what other reason does a bird fly than to please the almighty? It‘s somewhat ironic that these birds, who have been around in Rome longer than the Romans, live for the very creator, who to this day is not recognized in total obedient surrender and worship. How is it that a flock of birds can be more intelligent than humans?

I‘m very tired though I do find this topic interesting and will most likely find myself continually coming back to this basic idea.



Today some of the pastors left for home and now there‘s a group of about 20 of us who are still here. We went into the city together this evening and just got back a little while ago. It was a good time to be with friends and finally enjoy some fellowship together. Rome is truly a city worth coming to in order to explore. Just walking the streets without a goal is destination enough. Around every corner lies some sort of unbelievable beauty, which you just need time to take in. And that‘s precisely the problem. Rome doesn‘t allow enough time to see her. She has you moving from here to there. The rhythm of her heart beats steadily and constant. She doesn‘t stop, feeding on you for her own survival. And you let her because you want to be taken in by her and shown everything, even though you know it‘s just about time to make your way back home.



I have to be honest: I‘m more looking forward to going home than to staying in Rome. But I can see that feeling and even feel inside my own bones. There is something about this city that invites you to stay. It truly is incredible.
I spoke with my wife this evening, That is an experience, which goes beyond all human understanding or reason. I am enthralled by her and desire to just be in her presence. She is my Jezreel sanctified. Thank you sweetheart.

The Brotherhood

These guys here are spectacular.

Wonderful God-fearing, God-searching men, whom I really enjoying being around. We have a common goal, a common calling which binds us to one another.

Nevertheless, whenever I receive a picture of this little guy on my cell phone from Kristine, my heart skips a beat. There‘s no other boy on the planet who can make my heart as joyful as my son.

Then I start thinking: what in the world am I in Rome for? Why am I not just taking a week off and spending it all with my son? I justify this trip to myself, by telling myself that this is a „work-trip“ and not pleasure. Maybe, but where will it end and how often will I be going on work trips in the future? I want to be careful to not put anything other than Christ and His calling, above my family. And Christ‘s calling in it‘s very nature includes my own family does it not?

Yesterday, we saw candles that could be lit to represent prayers and penance. I have to think of the people going by with the religious looks and believing hearts. They believed in the meaning behind the symbols. They came expectantly with their coins and paid a price to see a light light up as an outward sign of inward piety. Or maybe not. Maybe they are content with the outward symbols but have no inward affection for which they take part in. Be that as it may… The religious tenor of these believers at all the churches we were at was similar. They came to put into action what they believed. No matter how great or small that belief may be. Some came thousands of miles. Crossed oceans. Defied their families.
And this coming Sunday we will go to church and complain about who preached, how he/she preached and then rip the songs apart from top to bottom, no matter who was playing. What about understanding that we are supposed to come to church with an expectant heart to give all that we have, because we know that nothing more and nothing less, is required of us? What about coming to the service on Sunday with an attitude of expecting to be heard, and a willingness to share your own heart?
It might change everything. It nothing else, it would make for more interesting table conversation after the service.

Stones, Stones and more Stones

Today we got stoned again. And again. And again.



There really seems to be no end to the amount of interesting stones to look at in Rome. Sadly to say, like tigers and lions and flowers in the field, I have gotten to a point, where I can't tell them apart anymore.



Michelangelo has my full respect. Seriously. I just think it's too much to do in three days. Or less. One or two sites a day would be more than enough. I never really was one of those, who liked "speed-tourism."



Since yesterday evening, the only thing I've wanted to do is sit down in a nice Eiscaffe with a good pastor friend, drink a nice cold beer, eat some ice cream and talk theology. It's still a good time.



The conversations we do have are really great and tend to continue throughout the day. I really enjoy being with these fellows and am strengthened by community with them.



I've just had enough of getting "stoned". It's pretty warm here in Rome. Today only around 21 Degrees Celsius and 70 Degrees Fahrenheit. Nevertheless, the sun in shining and does a good job baking. Yes, I've decided... It's time to go get iced. Wish me luck.

Lost in deep thoughts

It's a beautiful thing to awake to a headache and Roman birds chirping. These birds have a story to tell. Think of it. Generation for generation these birds have been flying over this city, watching this folk. Or maybe the thought really isn't that interesting. It's just me trying to come up with some really deep thought.

Today the plan is to check out a bunch of churches and the relicts there. After yesterdays extravaganza, I am not all that excited about the great deal of walking and direct sun rays promised for today. Had enough yesterday. The buildings and churches here are so enormous and historical that it would be enough to spend a day in each. I would have nothing against being left behind at the first church we walk into. There are so many photo happy pastors along on this trip. I'm sure between the pictures from all of them, I could make 360 Degree Photos from each monument and fresco.

Don't misunderstand me. It's beautiful. It's just that I like to enjoy.

First Impressions of Rome

It was a beautiful day today in Rome. Never thought I would seriously be here. The first here is taken directly after coming up from the Subway. The first thing you see…
is the Colosseum! It‘s breathtaking and paradoxical. To think that there is now a Subway station next to one of the oldest remnants of antiquity is absolutely amazing.



We walked around from one end of the city today to the other. Starting at the Colosseum we then went to the Roman Forums and then to Saint Peter‘s Dome.




There really has never been a city quite like Rome. Maybe there never will be again. The Romans invented the City. It would take another idea completely, another form or an „uncity“ if you will, in order to be comparable to the significance of the change, which the Romans brought to human sociological development.



It‘s definitely possible that something like a new „better“ form of the city could be reached. But something altogether different? The Romans reached a form of deity with all its problems.
The biggest being:
They found there was already a greater power at work in their game. Today the city feels like a stage for puppets. As though there once was power here but no longer. Other people here on the trip might say something else. A lot of people find Rome to be the last standing refuge of Christendom.



When they‘re here they feel the weight of the power of God. Either I‘m not very spiritual or just insensitive, but all I feel is emptiness, which has quite a weight of its own.

Rom

We're here in Rome with a bunch of Pastors from the Church of God Germany. More to follow!

Grandma and Sarah

By the way... If you want to see the pics of our time with Grandma and Sarah as they were here then you can either click on the link above or in the right margin of this blog there's a list of "Links". Click on the one that says "Picture Gallery".

Time Machine

There is much to tell and yet so much to leave unsaid.

1. Children's Ministry Seminar went well. Looking forward to the next one this coming Saturday. We're going to be repeating the seminar this Saturday evening in order to give people the opportunity to come, who were unable to attend the first time.

2. Jamie is growing by leaps and bounds. I keep wishing I was able to hold on to him more. He's working on crawling and walking at the same time. On top of that, he's got this smile that makes cars stop.


3. Which brings me to point number three. It's not everyday that you have a traffic jam due to too many Ferraris. But we here in Pforzheim belong to one of those lucky very "modern" cosmopolitan cities that attracts the kind of people, who buy Ferraris. Whatever... It's not called "The City of Gold" for nothing. ;-)

4. There really isn't a 4th and yet there is. Still reading "The Cost of Discipleship". It's such a good book I wanted to have it in the original german. I'm surprised actually that this kind of deep spirituality is not more prevalent in Germany. Although Bonhoeffer speaks about this phenomenon, attributing Germany's lack of fear of God and true discipleship, to the cheapening and handing out of grace to anyone and everyone shortly after the reformation. An interesting thought indeed. One, which I can truly understand being here.

Germany is a land that has given up on any absolutes. "All roads lead to Rome" has become the anthem for the church at large and most of Christendom.

Looking at my boy though and watching him grow. I find myself looking ever steadily to the Holy, Awesome Father-God for answers. There's too much that is unexplainable and downright unimaginable that happens everyday. In times like these: how could I depend on my own understanding? And yet... often enough, I certainly do try.