Those beside me

Gone are the days when we really needed, or were truly interested in the lives of, those to the left and right of us. With each passing decade our cultural psyche becomes increasingly strained with the thought of having to invest in someone else's life in a way, which does not show apparent, immediate gain or furtherance of our own journey.

Karl Marx was right about us was he not?

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Big daddy love

God is more excepting of the road I travel and the friends I keep than we are of each other or even I am of myself. It's absolutely donkey brained to listen to someone say: "I think this God stuff is a bunch of BS" and write them off as someone who is going to hell.

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Please, I'm not saying that any of you have said this to me. Even Rudi, who was moved to tears over my blog entry, I never felt like he was writing me off. I totally understand how he meant his comment.

But what of it: Imagine we would just take each person totally seriously when they told us to bugger off about the God stuff. In most cases that would be the best way to show them who God is. If my son asks me to stop doing something to him, I stop immediately. I don't try and coerce him into thinking that what I'm doing is really okay. That's what perverse catholic pedophiles do, but not good daddy's showing their kids big daddy love. They are going to listen to their kids wishes, cause they know it doesn't make a difference whether they are doing something good for their child or not, if their child perceives that action as bad then it has to stop.

Why then do so many Christians see it as a challenge to apologetically argue someone into the faith, or go to far away lands, where they are not welcome, to force yet another culture to conform to western values, which really aren't christ-like anyway, only to come away from it all with a deeper intrinsic certainty that the adversity, with which they were faced, was a sign of the holy blessing endowed upon them. Bullshit!

Has anyone stopped to think that maybe all this missiology stuff may be a thorn in God's eye? Or maybe we should be somewhat more honest with our exegesis of the new testament and admit that, yes even for the most lay of laypersons, Paul's writings really do differ and add to a lot of what Jesus said.

Would admitting to these things really break our faith? Or would it make it stronger allowing us to approach people around the world in a newer more free and holy way, much like the way that Christ had to approach all of us dimwits during his 30 year stint on this rock?

(Please don't ask me for bible references, I've stopped reading the bible 2 years ago and I do not want to start a bible debate on this blog.)

Black it is

Back by popular demand. After a rigorous month of voting, I have decided to retune my blog to black. That's what I'm talking about baby! It seems that the yeah's for black outnumbered the neah's (sic). If nothing else, the black does look more threatening, which I like better anyway. ;-)

Cheers,
Jonathan

Chasing desires

Supposedly, it is God's will to seek him. But is it necessary to have to chase him? In fact I wonder if it really is possible to seek God. No matter how long I've sought him, I've nevertheless really honestly never found him. And if that's the case, I am drawn to associate the whole "seeking God idea" to chasing desires.

We all have things we desire, after which we chase. Sometimes we grasp them, at other times they remain elusive. Desires, however, are never satisfied. So is their nature. I think "god" or the idea of God, is a desire. We chase after it so much that it even becomes possible to say that we are being led by it, albeit the desire for God itself, has no leading capacities to speak of.

This idea makes me very sceptical of the idea of God in general. Then if God does exist, as free evangelicals believe in him today, then he is a God who chases after them. I don't see this though.

I see well meaning people following their greatest desire and often looking somewhat bewildered with their worship. What I think is crazy, is that theology provides a system of reason to explain away and encourage in the face of this loneliness (lack of direct contact to God). "His grace is sufficient for me", "in my weakness He is stronger" and other mantra, prevent the believer from ever voicing true frustration.

The zenith of modern Christian God experiences, seems to be in "on your face worship" where you come out having felt the "hand of God". But wait, do I have to feel guilty for admitting that I have almost the same feelings at a U2 concert? Damn, Bono must really be Jesus come again.

The point is: where is God in all this? How can I distinguish God from my desires of who I want God to be, if he exists? And if there is a God, shouldn't I be able to say that he chases me, and know it's true. You know, otherwise I start feeling like the uncool teenager who wrote his love a poem and she's always running away, all coy and stuff. That's the kind of BS that creates serial murderers not great worshippers.

I don't know. I'm just sayin'. Thoughts?


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JESUS COMPLEX: Is Jesus God?

JESUS COMPLEX: Is Jesus God?

Visual Basic

Lest anyone be confused of my intentions: I am not turning this blog into a programmer's rant. In the first place, I'm not a programmer.

I did, however, find the title fitting to the new design of the site. Upon speaking with my blog composer adviser, it came to my attention that the color, black, is no way the best for reading and attracting visitors.

Furthermore, it is my aim to attract as many family visitors as possible to this page, and to this end I have decided to try changing the color. Does anyone feel more or less comfortable on the page after the changes.

What do you think fits better. Please weigh in! You can choose what you like better, black or white, in the survey to the right.

Student Loans

AHHHH! I can't believe I poured so much money into an education, which apparently brought me nothing. Of course there is a lot to be said for 5 year of good sound theological reading and German language learning.

Now I'm paying back loans though, on an education that I know longer plan on using. What in the world was I thinking. Can it be that I merely talked myself into being called to be a pastor? Of course it's possible. But most people would probably tell me that the Lord, is not done with me yet. That a time will come when all that education makes since.

Maybe it will and maybe it wont. Right now I'm just wishing I didn't have to find a way to make monthly payments on something not related to the field I'm working in. It reminds me of the time I bought my first computer for way too much money, because I thought it was necessary in order to have something good. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of throwing that thing out our second floor window. I didn't learn then, and I didn't learn now... Well actually, the decision to study theology was, oddly enough, at around the same time I bought the computer.

I guess that means, I could brush this whole thing off as a phase?! AHHHH!

The Right to Live

Have you ever wondered how people, who have done something unspeakably terrible could have the right to live any longer? I have.

Since having children, my ability to sympathize with every societal ill, has been reduced to a bare minimum. Surely, there are those who are more able to clearly articulate a system of justice, which should compensate all parties. I, however, have difficulties pardoning those who would otherwise be at the mercy of the family wronged. What is to stop a father from avenging some terrible act done to his children? And what court of law, would be doing justice, by preventing that same father from coming to the rescue of his child, no matter the means?

If I were in this situation, I'm pretty sure I would want to do something, which I would regret later. But who is to say when justice is really served? Is justice best served by the judicial system? Is it wrong to take matters into your own hands? If two wrongs don't make a right, who's to say, which wrong is unnecessary?

Maybe there are cases, which do make a wrong necessary?

What is at the center?

Is it really necessary, to spend ones life serving a God you cannot see?

Was not God's message precisely to take care of and serve, the very creation he designed and in so doing, serve the creator.

I find it progressively difficult to busy myself serving and praising someone, I can neither see nor hear. Furthermore, I feel almost as though I'm simply talking with myself, whenever I pray or speak. Or if I talk of answered prayers: many of those answers I would have received, even if I hadn't prayed.

As a matter of fact, how can I ever be sure that God has answered anything I've prayed? And why is that important?


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Berlin

A beautiful city, with somehow, at least at first sight, much friendlier than the typical Pforzheimer round the mill(er).

About this city I can say the same as about many other places I've been (other than Pforzheim), I think I could live here.




This pick is Jamie and Edgar, in front of the new National Art Gallery.



Kian, Edgar and Jamie playing at the Art Museum.




Kristine, Jamie and Sarah in front of Neptune, the God of water.

It's also been great, just being able to see Edgar in his element here.

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Anger

It's a good thing to be angry once you've found your anger. Of course, if you're an angry person it's just embarrassing to be angry all the time. Recently, I realized that I've been angry for a long time. Just haven't had the avenue to express it. Haven't really felt the freedom to be able to express anger.

Some things I'm angry about:

- Religion: I think it should be at the top of everybody's list. All it does is screw up our minds to really be able to see the person standing across from us.

- Institutional Church: See "Religion", additionally - Church is a breeding ground for an us against them mentality.

- The Bible - in the hands of numbskulls: The Bible takes for granted, there is a living breathing intelligent human being reading it. Is this not the case, even the saintliest words of Saint John aren't going to make an ignoramus into Captain James T. Kirk, discovering new uncharted reaches of spirituality. It will, however, be used in order to back said ignoramus' points and overall way of life whatever the cost, even should it mean cutting down those who are not in total agreement. This is in effect quite easy, once fueled with enough arguments condemning the actions of others, as taken from God's Holy Word, making it a comfortable task for the ignoramus to overlook the shit in his own pants.

For this reason I am for abolishing the Bible. Being that I frequently smell the stench coming from my own pants, I will be keeping all my copies and continue reading them to further my understanding of God. Everyone else needs to get a license, in Bible reading before opening the book though. There's too much good stuff in there to let it be ruined by dumb shits just itching for a good argument to bring their brother down. To hell with them, and me too, should I ever go back to being such a self-abased apologist.

The Bible wasn't made for you! It's not Jesus love letter to you! Don't you think that Jesus would have found you without the Bible? Is God sooo unbelievably small that He can't get to you unless John Wycliff and sons come with a Bible translation for your tribe? No! Wherever you go, He will find you, and He is already loving all those people in all those tribes all over the world. Our biggest mistake is thinking Jesus looks like Ronald McDonald. Everyone has to understand how to preach like we do and they should all put some damn clothes on! Isn't God everywhere at the same time, like super Santa? Or is it somehow that we have to unlock some sort of secret level of the game, in order that his powers would also work among Incas, and be able to reach new parts of the world, which were, until that point, somehow unreachable by Him. WTF! Noooo!

God is BIG! You are small. Really small. Think about that the next time you read your Bible or go to church. The Bible is there to let you know you're going in the right direction. That you're just like all the other thick heads on the planet. You don't get better just because you read the Bible. You get confirmation of your own thick headedness. If you get anything else out of the Bible you're a numbskull and need a Bible reading license.

And yes, feel free to argue with me. Just not if you're an ignoramus.